Product Review

We use Gerber brand sippy cups. They are cute, easy to hold, and have a spill-proof valve. The valve is so good that when it just so happens that you find a sippy cup of orange juice in the washing machine at the end of the wash cycle, there is still orange juice in the cup! I did not try putting the sippy cup in the dryer, however, so I can't comment on the heat-resistant qualities of the plastic.

We use Pampers brand diapers. Pampers have Elmo on them, have refastenable tapes, and absorb a lot of moisture. The moisture absorbing capacity is so good that even a used diaper can gather more water when it goes through a wash cycle!

Quick! Which used diaper spent 45 minutes in the washing machine?



It occurs to me that I should start sifting the laundry, rather than upending the basket over the washing machine and just dumping everything in.

Viking Warrior Children

I read in a book that Vikings started training a boy as a warrior once he was big enough to reach over the top of his head with his hand and touch his opposite ear. I've always wondered how big a kid had to be in order to do that.

Simon isn't big enough to be a Viking Warrior yet:



Ben isn't big enough to be a Viking Warrior yet:



Dogs can't be Viking Warriors either (I bet you thought it was opposable thumbs that made people superior to dogs. Turns out it's the ability to reach over the top of your head):



But at ages 5 and 10, my nephew and niece are qualified to start training as Viking Warriors:




You should go check the little people in your house and see if any of them are future Viking Warriors!

Thwarted Ambition

Some day, Ben will realize that the sole reason he is not a world famous photographer is because I wouldn't give him the camera.

(On an unrelated topic, I think he's right-handed.)

My Etsy Debut!

I've noticed that lots of people have etsy shops. For the uninitiated, an etsy shop is an online "store" where you can sell cute, homemade items. Most of the etsy shops I've seen sell homemade jewelry. There are some really talented etsy-makers out there.

After a few weeks of feeling badly that I didn't have the creativity to have my own etsy shop, I realized I just needed to be more confident in my own unique style. So here are my available etsy options. And remember, all proceeds fund my boys' college educations (which they will need in order to earn enough money to pay for their own therapy).

I have a unique, colorful style. If you buy my etsy fashions, you won't have to worry about your jewelry being too subtle to catch someone's eye. It just jumps out at you and shouts, "I am jewelry! Compliment me!" And you will be complimented. Would you pass by someone wearing this bold combination of colors without saying anything? No, you would not. And you would say something nice, wouldn't you? Yes, you would. Because you would understand that anyone wearing this needs encouragement.



I am experimenting with an eye-catching look in earrings. The mismatched colors proclaim the wearer to be a non-conformist, a true individual. (The mismatched colors may also proclaim that you got dressed in the dark, but people will give you the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure.)



I have two different bracelet styles available. The long, droopy bracelet will accentuate the attractive qualities of your elbow, which should be held at a 90-degree angle so your bracelet doesn't fall off. The one-link perkier bracelet is easier to wear, for those of you who still flail your arms around without much control.




I also have a colorful selection of toe rings available. Don't bother with shoes! You'd hate to cover up one of these works of art. If you should happen to trip on your toe ring and skin your knee, make sure your band-aid matches your toe ring for an unforgettable look.


My designs for body piercing are still in the conceptual stage. And while I think the belly button ring shows real promise, I'm not sure I'll ever get the nose ring to the point where it's comfortable enough to wear. Of course, "comfort" is not the point of a nose ring anyway.




Get your orders in now! These fashions won't last long!

Playing Mommy

This is how you feed the baby:

1. Sit in the bright yellow rocking chair.
2. Put a pillow on your lap.
3. Put a book on the pillow.
4. Put the baby up your shirt.

Helping out Hubby

All of you who have ever received an email from Dirk know that his emails come signed:

Dirk
I’m to lazy to come up with a creative sig

I think we should help him out! Let’s come up with a creative signature line for Dirk.

Perhaps we could have him use an encouraging aphorism:

Dirk
Keep your chin up!

Hmmm. Dirk just isn’t the encouraging aphorism type. He’s more of a Jack Handy type:

Dirk
Keep your chin up, especially if your nosebleed will drip if you look down.

Hmmm. Too corny. Let’s try something responsible:

Dirk
Remember to floss.

Yeah, that doesn’t do it for me either. Maybe we could make him an acronym. Army soldier guys love acronyms!

D.I.R.K.
Definitely an Irrepressible Romantic Kyootie (I have a pet peeve about misspelling “c” words with “k’s” though. I almost missed out on eating Crispy Cream donuts, just on principle, but then I decided I could spell them right in my mind and eat them anyway. Spelling principles should not interfere with donuts.)

Desirable Illuring Rare Knight (Yes, I know alluring is spelled with an “a”, but that would make him Dark, now wouldn’t it?)

Daring Intrepid Rogueish Kisser (Perhaps I should stop before I get too mushy on the blog.)

Back to Gospel Doctrine

My Gospel Doctrine teacher maternity leave is coming to an end. So I'd like to offer a commercial for my upcoming lesson:

*cue fun background theme music and video collage*

Inheritance withdrawal fee -- $10.00

Camel ride out of town -- $20.00

A month-long beer bust with your friends -- $50,000.00

Seeing the look on your goody-two-shoes brother's face when your father throws a party upon your return -- priceless

Some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Prodigal Son Mastercard.

(Just kidding. We're studying the Book of Mormon this year. And yes, I stole this post from someone else.)

Location, location, location

I was in a craft store a couple years ago (no, I don't browse craft stores anymore with two little kids in tow) and saw a sweet little kid-sized chair in unfinished wood, just waiting for a mommy to buy and paint it for her little cherub. It had "Time Out" carved in cute little letters across the back. How would a kid feel about his mommy making his time out spot so attractive? Hmm? Mommy's a bit weird about punishment if she's going to toll-paint the Naughty Spot, I'd say.

So I was thinking about this for Ben's time-out location. "Son, that's unacceptable! Go stand in your bookshelf!"

Perspective

With two kids in diapers, there are days where I think, “I sure have to clean up a lot of poop.”

And then I think, “nah, I don’t have it so bad.”